“I’m not there yet, nor have I become perfect, but I am charging on to gain anything and everything the Anointed One, Jesus, has in store for me—and nothing will stand in my way because He has grabbed me and won’t let me go. Brothers and sisters, as I said, I know I have not arrived; but there’s one thing I am doing: I’m leaving my old life behind, putting everything on the line for this mission”—Philippians 3:11-13 (VOICE).
Listening to a local Christian radio station recently, I heard a commentator say: “You’re under zero pressure to be perfect.” I’d missed the opening introduction to her statement but this sentence struck a chord with me.
I’m a recovering perfectionist raised by a mother who expected my sister and me to be perfect. It wasn’t so much our behavior as she expected us to do everything perfectly. She set high standards for us at home and in our schoolwork.
While there’s nothing wrong with doing your best, having high standards can lead to a life of perfectionism. Striving to be perfect can be harmful to your mental, physical, and emotional health. When you hold yourself to a standard that doesn’t accept anything less than perfection, you often expect the same from those around you. It’s exhausting to live up to impossible standards.
Living Up to Impossible Standards
Each of us has different abilities, talents, and gifts. While some of us are gifted artists and writers, others are gifted athletically and intellectually. Some are born leaders. Others excel in interpersonal talents: care giving, listening, public speaking, and teamwork. Some are natural communicators, organizers, and money managers. The list goes on, and some individuals have a combination of these.
I was never athletically inclined in school. In my 40s, however, I joined a walking/running club called Wings. My goal was to lose weight and get healthy. I wasn’t striving to win any races our club competed in throughout the year. My goal was to do my best.
However, my competitive streak kicked in when I saw women in my age bracket passing me on the course. Focusing on the runner passing me didn’t improve my time. Instead, I started seeking landmarks, like a large tree or a sign ahead of me to focus on. Once I reached the place I was focused on, I looked ahead to find another. Gradually, I improved. I wasn’t comparing myself to other female runners and striving for perfection. Instead, I focused on my improvement, not being perfect or crossing the finish line first.
Does God Expect Us to Be Perfect?
Several years ago, a friend said, “God doesn’t care about me. I’ve made so many wrong choices, He’d never be interested in helping me.” I was stunned. I told her how much God loves her, but she refused to listen. My heart aches for those who believe they must be perfect before God will accept them as a child of His.
How does the Bible address perfectionism? God gave us Jesus, the only perfect human living without sin. Striving for perfection is pointless. God is more concerned with our faith walk and character development, which we can’t achieve without His help.
Jesus is the author and perfecter of our faith. When we fully surrender and rely on God’s strength, we learn that our lives are only made complete in Him. It’s not about striving for a sinless life; it’s about putting our trust in Him, the only One who can help us achieve completeness in character—emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. No more striving—just relaxing in our Savior’s arms.
I always love hearing from my readers. Please e-mail me at carol@carolaround.com with your thoughts or visit my blog for more inspiration at www.carolaround.com. If you need a speaker or workshop leader, contact me at the above e-mail address or through my website. I’d be delighted to hear from you.
Photo by Isabella Fischer on Unsplash