unforgiveness |

Discovering the Greatest Gift

Posted on January 7, 2013 by 4Seasons2013

“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand”–Psalm 16:11 (NIV).

In his book “Every Day is a Gift,” author Barry Gottlieb says when he was a younger man, “I lived my life with a philosophy of, ‘What’s in it for me?’”

His life, however, changed with two sentences. “You need to get your affairs in order. You have three months, six at the most, to live.” Sitting across from his oncologist that day, Barry says, “Those words shook my world. I thought he must be talking about somebody else.”

Diagnosed with a very rapid, fatal form of cancer, he was told there really wasn’t anything they could do for him. Since he didn’t think he had any options, Barry agreed to try some experimental treatments, which would make him unbelievably ill. A few weeks later, however, Barry received a call from his doctor who was screaming over the phone, “You don’t have cancer! It was a misdiagnosis…a mistake by the lab.”

Can you imagine the roller coaster of emotions Barry experienced? For Barry, however, it changed the way he thought about life. From that day forward, he said, “I made the decision to treat every day as a gift.”

What if, upon awakening, we looked at each day as a gift and decided to take action? Barry offers the following action steps in his book:

Gratitude. Every night before you go to sleep, recite aloud at least 10 things for which you are grateful.
Forgive. Let go of the past. Forgive those who have hurt or angered you. Stop carrying this poison around with you every day.
Love. Be sure to tell those people in your life who mean so much to you that you love them and appreciate them.
Donate. Go through your closets. Anything you haven’t worn or used in the past year, box it or bag it and take it to a place where those who are less fortunate will benefit from your donation. Get your children involved!
Praise. Make time to praise. Look for and recognize the good in others.

I recall a quiz I received via email once. Asked to identify the following, most people can’t give an answer: Name the five wealthiest people in the world or the last five Miss America pageant winners. Name 10 people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize or the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

However, most of us can list a few teachers who aided our journey through school or three friends who have helped us through a difficult time. We can easily name five people who have taught us something worthwhile or who have made us feel appreciated and special.

What lesson can we learn from this quiz? People who make a difference in our lives are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money or the most awards. They are the ones who care the most.

Share your thoughts with the author below. Please leave a comment.

Posted in Daily Living, Faith, Spiritual transformation | Tagged Academy Award winners, Academy Awards, appreciation, best actor, best actress, cancer, Christ, donate, eternity, forgiveness, God, gratitude, Jesus, love, Miss America, Miss America pageant, Nobel Prize, Nobel prizes, pageant, praise, Pultizer Prizes, unforgiveness, wealth, wealthiest people | 2 Comments

Forgiveness is a Choice

Posted on June 25, 2012 by 4Seasons2013

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” Matthew 6:14

As legend goes, a now-famous feud began with a dispute over the ownership of a hog. The feud escalated and lives were lost on both sides. The battle between the Hatfields and McCoys continued for 12 years until they agreed to disagree. But it wasn’t until June 14, 2003, that descendants of both sides signed a truce, though the conflict had ended a century earlier.

Lewis B. Smedes, author and professor, once said, “If we wait too long to forgive, our rage settles in and claims squatter’s rights to our souls.” Numerous scientific studies tout the benefits to our health when we forgive those who have wronged us. Chronic anger and stress are almost unavoidable consequences of an unwillingness to forgive. Both are toxic to our physical and emotional health.

After my 28-year marriage ended in 2001, I carried around some toxic emotions. Bitterness, anger and unforgiveness ate away at me until I began to pour out my heart to God in my prayer journal. I wasn’t healed overnight. This gradual process led to my letting go of the past. As I inked my pain on the pages, I was released from the bondage and the emotions that threatened my health.

Just before Christmas one year, I was led to purchase a book for a friend who was bitter about his wife’s betrayal and their subsequent divorce. As I browsed through the various books at a Christian bookstore, I asked the owner for suggestions, explaining the reason for my search. I wanted to find a book for my friend that would help him to begin the journey to freedom and eventual healing. When she made the following statement, I asked her to write it down: “When I forgave, I set a prisoner free. Then I realized the prisoner was me.”

Before I mailed the book to my friend, I wrote those words, along with the following scripture from Matthew 6:14, on the inside cover: “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”

Author Catherine Ponder once said, “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”

We, as followers of Christ, are a forgiven people but the Bible also makes it clear that we are to be a forgiving people. Forgiving someone who has wronged us is not easy but it’s the only way we can be free to become the person God intends us to be. Remember, forgiveness is a process, not an event.

Whom do you need to forgive? Forgiveness is a choice and a gift we give to ourselves.

Posted in Journaling, Relationships | Tagged anger, anger and depression, anger management, bible forgiveness, bitterness, dealing with anger, divorces, emotional health, forgiveness, forgiveness bible verses, forgiveness of sins, forgiveness verses, forgiving, forgiving others, forgiving quotes, getting over divorce, how do i forgive, how do you forgive, how to forgive, Matthew 6:14, mental health, physical health, prayer for forgiveness, quotes forgiveness, resentment, resentments, the word of God, unforgiveness, ways to deal with anger, what is anger, what is forgiveness, why should i forgive | Leave a comment

You Can Write Through the Pain

Posted on May 21, 2012 by 4Seasons2013

“I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me. When I was in distress, I sought the Lord…” –Psalm 77:1-2 (NIV)

Have you ever felt that God has forgotten you? You’re not alone. There have been times in my life when I have felt so empty and alone, I have cried out for my Lord to bring me home. I was in so much emotional pain, I didn’t want to live.

Pain can bring us to our knees in prayer or it can keep us from overcoming those things God wants to use to help us grow. For me, it began with the end of my 28-year marriage in 2001. Journaling through the pain eventually helped me to release the negative emotions associated with the loss—anger, bitterness and unforgiveness.

Before my divorce, my baggage was so heavy I suffered from physical afflictions as well as other health issues. Let me explain. Did you know that when you carry around your past hurts, or allow stress to rule your life, it affects you physically? This is called the mind-body connection. Your body responds to the way you think, feel and act. When you are stressed, anxious or upset, your body tries to tell you something isn’t right. Poor emotional health can also weaken your body’s immune system, making you more susceptible to colds and other infections during emotionally difficult times.

For many years, my internal baggage affected my body in many ways. A stress-filled marriage and poor self-image led to frequent back pain, a stiff neck and an upset stomach. However, it wasn’t until my 2002 breast cancer diagnosis that I learned about this important connection. Part of my optional treatment plan involved counseling sessions at Cancer Treatment Centers of America where I learned about this important mind-body issue.

Proverbs 23:7 says, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Putting my thoughts on paper in the form of a letter to the Lord is one of the best ways I have found to let go of stress, past hurts and all my worries.

When Hollywood writer Misty Taggert learned that her husband had been diagnosed with Stage 4 neck and tongue cancer, she was confused and angry with God. She couldn’t understand why God would let this happen. Then, she remembered how much writing meant to her and she began to use her fountain pen to connect with the pain.

In Write Where it Hurts, Jo Ann Fore explains: “As Misty writes, it draws everything together for her. The pain flows from her brain and heart, trickles down into her arm, through the pen and onto the paper. An art form, for her, that offers a direct connection to God.”

Misty says, “There’s something wonderful about connecting what’s going on in your mind and taking it to the paper to make it real. When I pray verbally, my mind wanders. I know it’s not supposed to—but it does. I have a hard time staying focused. I found if I write to God, instead, I stay focused.”

Prayer journaling can help you stay focused on Him instead of your problems. Try journaling your struggles to God today.

Posted in Journaling, Relationships, Tough Times | Tagged after a divorce, alone, anger, anxiety, as a man thinketh, back pain, baggage, bitterness, body, body mind, breast cancer, cancer, Cancer Center, Cancer Treatment Centers of America, Cancer Treatment Centers of Tulsa, CTCA, devotional life, devotions, divorce, divorce help, emotional baggage, emotional pain, faith, faith over fear, fountain pen, God, grief journaling, healing and the mind, healing from divorce, healing through writing, health benefits of journaling, Hope, how do I get through a divorce, how do you get through a divorce, how to go on after a divorce, ink pen, internal baggage, Jo Ann Fore, journaling, journaling for healing, letter ot the Lord, life after divorce, love letter to God, marriage, mind and body, mind body, mind body connection, mind body spirit, Misty Taggert, moving on after divorce, neck cancer, negative emotions, pain, pain and anxiety, past hurts, poor self-image, prayer, prayer journal, Proverbs 23:7, Psalm 77:1-2, stiff neck, stress, stress filled marriage, struggles, tension, the art of journaling, tongue cancer, treatment plan, unforgiveness, upset stomach, worries, worry, Write Where it Hurts, writing, writing and healing, writing for healing, writing practice, writing to heal, your divorce | 1 Comment