self-esteem |

Climbing Out of the Pit

“Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you,
for I am your God.
I will strengthen you…
I will uphold you”—Isaiah 41:10 (NASB).

Depression affects about 19 million people in the United States every year. In the past, depression was a taboo subject. People didn’t talk about it because of the stigma associated with the word. If someone had a “nervous breakdown,” the family hid the truth from the prying eyes of the community.

Thankfully, today, depression is out in the open. Many of us have felt sad or alone at some point. However, when the sadness becomes overwhelming or lingers for a long time, it may be a sign of depression. Depression symptoms can include insomnia, anxiety, dismal mood, panic, thoughts of suicide, loss of energy/weight/joy/libido/love for life. It may conjure up images of people staring through a window at a drizzly day.

Depressive illness, which is a medical condition, isn’t like that Monday-morning I-hate-to-go- back- to-work feeling. It’s not the down-in-the-dumps feeling you have when your return from a vacation to find your house in disarray because your hot water pipes burst. Depression is a medical fact, like breaking a leg, only the broken part is in the chemical circuitry of your brain. Depression can affect people’s ability to work, study, interact with others or take care of themselves. It can be caused by imbalances in brain chemistry but can also be triggered by stress, poor nutrition, physical illness, and personal loss as well as school or relationship difficulties. Healing doesn’t happen overnight.

In my early 40s, I was diagnosed with depression, triggered by marital problems. My mother fought it most of her adult life. If you have a family history, an event can activate the depressive state. For me, healing required counseling and medication. However, one of the greatest tools to healing has been my prayer journal.

Writing down my thoughts in a letter to God has helped me to see how valuable I am. My self-worth took a nosedive in my 40s when my husband (at the time) wanted a divorce because he was attracted to another woman. The fact that the woman was 20 years his junior didn’t help my self-esteem either.

I sought self-worth in other things, including an extreme weight loss and rigid exercise routine, shopping for new clothes because I’d lost 55 pounds, a complete makeover which included a new hair color and seeking approval from others.

Through prayer journaling, I have been able to unravel the reasons my marriage failed. I have also come to realize that God loves me for who I am. I don’t have to prove anything to Him. As I have overcome my depression, He has replaced it with joy. Psalm 30:11 says, “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy.”

The opposite of joy is sadness. However, it’s hard to remain sad when your joy is found in the Lord. Nehemiah 8:10 says, “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

The Freedom to be Yourself

“For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost”–Luke 19:10 (NIV).

Do you struggle with your identity? Is your self-esteem low? Are you addicted to your career, alcohol, food, people, money, perfectionism or anything else that occupies your waking thoughts? Maybe some, or all of these, describe you. You’re not alone.

For years, I struggled with my self-worth and found it in all the wrong places, mostly in being a people-pleaser and a perfectionist. I hid behind a mask of self-deception, trying to convince myself, and others, that I was whole. I identified myself as daughter, sister, wife, mother and high school teacher. However, I didn’t really know who I was. I tried so hard to live up to other people’s expectations of how I should act and what I should say that by the time I reached my 40s, I imploded like a light bulb that blows inwards when it burns out—and that is not healthy for anyone.

I began to question my existence and identity. My sons were grown, my 28-year marriage ended and I found myself alone for the first time in my life. Raised by a mother who expected her daughters to do their best, I became an overachiever. For 28 years, beginning at age 19, I had sought to please a man who could not be pleased—and I didn’t have a clue as to my identity.

In the fall of 2001 I began to seek the One who knows me better than I know myself. Although I had attended church faithfully as a child and teenager, I had drifted away in my 20s. I returned for several years when my sons were young; however, it wasn’t until that October afternoon that I realized what was missing in my life—a relationship with my Savior. He is the only One who can fill the God-shaped hole to make us complete.

Since that time, my journey has led me to discover my identity through a personal relationship with Jesus. Spending my early morning time with Him, pouring out my heart on the lined pages of a journal has led to my wholeness and healing. Through this journaling process, I have regained the sense of self I had as a young child who delighted in spending time in the outdoors with God.

When the ink flows across the pages of my journal, I am free to be completely authentic with Him. To be authentic means to be genuine. If you’re hiding behind a mask, it’s hard to be real with yourself and with others.

God is the only One who can help us find our self-worth. The true sense of one’s value or worth as a person can’t be found in other people, things, jobs or the world. Psalm 118:8 says, “It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.”

In whom or what do you place your trust? Is the object of your trust absolutely 100 percent dependable and eternal? If not, you’re giving up the freedom to be yourself.

Climbing Out of the Pit

Posted on July 15, 2012 by 4Seasons2013

The Freedom to be Yourself

Posted on July 2, 2012 by 4Seasons2013