Choose Kindness Instead of Paybacks

 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else1 Thessalonians 5:15(NIV).

In a hurry at the speedy checkout lane, I was becoming impatient when a problem arose with the person checking out just ahead of me. She had swiped her credit card several times but it wouldn’t work. The cashier wasn’t having any luck getting it to work either so she called for help.

As I listened to the conversation, I learned the card she was using to pay for her two items was part of a government assistance program. Since it was several days before the end of the month, it dawned on me that the customer didn’t realize she had used up her monthly allotment. She was going to put the items back when I felt a God nudge.

Reaching into my wallet, I pulled out cash and paid for the two items. The customer protested but I replied, “Please allow me to pay.”

Now, here’s where the story reveals the story behind the story. The woman was buying ice cream bars. In the past, my attitude would have been, “Well, she’s on government assistance and she shouldn’t be using the funds to buy ice cream.”

Bear with me here. Notice, I said in the past. Yes, I was very judgmental before Jesus got ahold of me and I still struggle sometimes, but He’s not through with me yet. Second, I had first encountered this woman almost five years earlier when she came to our church’s front door ministry, seeking help with groceries and some of her past due bills. While we try to assist as many as possible, that particular day, we were out of funds to help with bills. However, we did supply her with food. I recalled her reaction when she learned we were out of funds. It wasn’t pleasant. I realized that her response had affected my attitude toward her, especially when she started attending our church.

That day, as I stood in the checkout line, waiting impatiently for my turn, God showed me that it didn’t matter what this woman was buying. I had an opportunity to be kind, and, you know what, I think I enjoyed it more than she probably enjoyed eating that ice cream.

Scottish author and theologian, Ian Maclaren said, “Let us be kind to one another, for most of us are fighting a hard battle.” I know I was battling my impatience as I waited my turn to check out that day.

In a sermon titled, “What is Man?” Christian theologian John Wesley said, “You were born for nothing else. You live for nothing else. Your life is continued to you upon earth, for no other purpose than this, that you may know, love and serve God on earth, and enjoy Him to all eternity.”

When we serve others, we are serving our Heavenly Father.  Be on the lookout for whom God wants you to serve today.

 What do you think? Do you seek to serve others? Leave a comment below.

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What I Wish Someone Had Told Me

“Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up”—Deuteronomy 6:7 (NIV).

 No one ever told me that being a mother could be heartbreaking. Neither did anyone ever tell me that it could also be one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. My own mother, who passed away almost nine years ago, certainly didn’t tell me, but then, she raised two daughters. I raised two sons. Therein is the difference, at least from my perspective.

Before I became a mother at age 23, I read the books on parenting. You know the ones that tell you, “Do this, but don’t do that.” Fewer volumes of advice were available in 1977 when my first son was born. When the second son came along almost four years later, who had time to read a book? The wisdom I had learned in the trenches before his birth, however, did not prepare me for the differences in the two. When I talk about my sons, I always tell others that if my second-born had been my first-born, he would have been an only child. God certainly has a sense of humor. So does my second son.

Recently, I spoke to approximately 50 graduating seniors at a mother-daughter tea. To prepare for the event, I asked other mothers what advice they would give to the young women who were beginning a new chapter in their lives. I don’t have room to include all of their sage advice but have distilled their words into the following, which is appropriate for both genders:

  • Never let society define the most important things in life, such as values, integrity, truth, success, and your own self-worth. Those things are far too important to be determined by popular opinion.
  • There is nobody else in the world like you, so be who God uniquely created you to be. Don’t try to pattern yourself after somebody else.
  • Always put your relationship with Christ first. As long as you focus on that, everything else will fall into place.
  • “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Matthew 7:12). This should be a guiding principle for all aspects of your life—personal, home and career.

While I never received this specific advice as a teenager, I learned some real-life lessons from my mother. She taught me how to be a survivor and the value of hard work. She taught me that doing well in school and getting a college education would ensure a better future. She taught me to treat others with respect, no matter who they were. She taught me the basics, like cooking, cleaning and ironing. I can’t say, however, that I like to do any of these practical things today.

While my mother was a model of good behavior and proper decorum during my impressionable years, my spiritual growth has come through reading scripture, Bible study and personal experience. Today, I celebrate the foundation I had in her teachings.

 

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Finding Peace in a Shaky World

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit”—Romans 15:13 (NIV).

A ringing phone after midnight jolted me from a deep sleep. Expecting to hear one of my sons on the other end, I jumped into action when I heard the recorded voice telling me to take cover immediately. At the same time, I heard the tornado sirens blaring. Grabbing my glasses, my dog and my bed comforter, I headed for the safest place in my house—a long hallway.

My heart raced as adrenaline kicked into survival mode. Lying in the hallway, I could hear the strong wind and blaring sirens as my dog and I huddled under the comforter. For what seemed like an eternity, I lay there praying. After the sirens and wind ceased, I headed back to bed, but could not sleep. Turning on the television, I listened for updates as the storm moved across northeastern Oklahoma. Communication with the outside world via Facebook and texting on my cell phone kept me connected with friends and family who were still in the path of the storm.

Storms of all kinds can keep us from finding peace in a shaky world. Two recent national incidents not only destroyed lives but also rattled our peace. With the Boston Marathon bombing and the explosion of a Texas fertilizer plant, people across the nation have heavy hearts.

It’s hard to comprehend the hideous act in Boston but within hours of the bombing, Internet chatter claimed that a “dark-skinned male” was in custody. The 22-year-old Saudi Arabian student was recovering from the blasts in a Boston hospital while police raided his apartment. Other media followed, raising the alarm and suspicions that the perpetrators were “brown-skinned.”

Premature reports like these led to incidences of insults and beatings heaped on “dark-skinned” foreigners who had no connection to the event. A Palestinian woman in Boston was assaulted by a man who said, “You are terrorists! I hate you! You are involved in the Boston explosions!”

The rush for indictment and revenge is not the answer, nor does it bring peace in a world so desperate for understanding. For some, a prayer vigil or service was a way to gather with others to spiritually support the bombing victims, the city of Boston, and even pray for the perpetrators. For others, it was a way to seek answers—or peace, in the face of unsettling evil.

America has suffered much at the hands of both foreign and domestic terrorists. We have become suspicious and fearful. Being fearful, however, robs us of our peace, a peace only found when we are grounded in our faith through spiritual practices like reading scripture, prayer and being part of a faith family. Our faith should lead us to reach out to the hurting, to the disenfranchised, to the lost, to the poor.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Peace cannot be achieved through violence, it can only be attained through understanding.”

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Powerful Two-Word Tranquilizer Can Change Your Life

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid”—John 14:27 (RSV).

Did you know April is National Stress Awareness Month? I didn’t. Members of the health care community and other experts have been providing encouragement this month so that Americans might reduce their stress levels, be better able to manage multiple responsibilities and find the time to take care of themselves as well as their loved ones.

Sometimes, that’s easier said than done. Life is challenging. Assorted responsibilities, negative news from the media, outside pressures to fit in, job loss, a death in the family and a multitude of demands on our time can lead to stress. When we don’t deal with stress in a positive way, it can lead to health problems. Stress, according to a Carnegie Mellon University study, can lead to a weakened immune system, which in turn, can cause heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver and even suicide.

Some people cope with stress by turning to drugs—legal and illegal, alcohol and other unhealthy substances.

Obesity rates are also linked to stress-filled lives, causing many to seek comfort foods. Many of today’s families are also so busy with extra-curricular activities that eating fast food has become the norm.  Unhealthy eating habits leave us less able to cope with stress-filled days of packed schedules.

Recently, I came across author Ron Hutchcraft’s article called “The Two-Word Tranquilizer.” Citing James 4:13-15, Hutchcraft says, “Now listen,you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will,we will live and do this or that.’”

Hutchcraft says he was turned off for years by people who said, “Lord willing,” every other sentence. However, he now confesses he is beginning to understand the peace-giving power of those two words, “Lord willing.”

In our rush to fill every hour of the day with activities, we forget Psalm 90:12. “Lord, teach us to number our days aright so we may apply our hearts to wisdom.”

“In our wall-to-wall schedules,” says Hutchcraft, “we rule out God’s right to re-schedule our day, to interrupt, to slow us down, to cancel, and He often does.

“I began to realize how much of my own stress I create by not saying, ‘Lord, here’s my list, here’s my goal, here’s my plan, here’s my schedule,’” he adds. “I can avoid so much frustration if I allow the God of heaven to be the Lord of my almighty, untouchable schedule. And, I do that with two words, ‘Lord Willing.’”

Those two words can bring peace when we give our schedules and lists to Him. As Hutchcraft says, “It’s a powerful two-word tranquilizer.”

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As Seasons Change, So Do Our Lives

“But God was always there doing the good things that prove He is real. He gives you rain from heaven and good harvests at the right times. He gives you plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy”— Acts 14:17(ERV).

 Across the nation, winter has clung tenaciously, refusing to give in to spring, which officially announced its presence on man’s calendar last month. However, that hasn’t stopped early-blooming flowers, like Phlox and Hyacinths, from revealing their faces. These two plants, growing in my flowerbeds, withstood recent cold snaps, including some light snow several weeks ago.

However, these early spring flowers do not last long. My Hyacinths are already fading. but the Phlox hasn’t yet reached its peak. Other perennial flowers in my beds will begin to reveal their beauty soon and as I add colorful annuals, the blooms of both will provide a harvest of splendor and joy. They also provide nutrition for bees, butterflies and birds, gracing my life with their presence.

Although I appreciate each season, working in my flowerbeds in the spring and summer bring a peace that only those who love getting their hands dirty in God’s good earth can understand. We are the ones who eagerly anticipate the delivery of new flowers, shrubs and trees to local nurseries and home improvement stores. We listen to the weatherman, praying that his forecast will announce the end of winter weather, even if the calendar claims the arrival of spring.

Just as the seasons change in nature, the seasons of our lives change as well. Our marital status may change. Our children will grow up and leave home (hopefully). We’re hired for a job but then laid-off.  Our parents will pass away. We move to a different house or community because of status changes, including job moves, downsizing or divorce. We face critical health issues or lose a loved one unexpectedly. We look in the mirror each morning and see new wrinkles and grey hair, if we still have hair.

Recently, a friend and I were discussing the upcoming move of neighbors with an elementary-aged son who is not looking forward to leaving his friends. We both agreed that it is probably easier on younger students to adjust in a new school system than for older ones. However, I can recall being uprooted at age 16 to move almost 600 miles to a rural area where my mother had been raised. My sister and I adjusted well, even though we had to leave childhood friends behind.

In any aspect of our lives, we will move from a place of security into the unknown. Embracing those changes in our lives can be difficult. However, if we see these changes as opportunities for growth, anticipating what God will do next in our lives, we can adjust, with His help. He will provide whatever we need in any season of life, just as He provides whatever nature needs to flourish.

Find a way to embrace the beauty of each new season of your life. Know that nothing stays the same forever, except our Heavenly Father.

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Weathering the Storms of Life

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble”— Psalm 46:1(NIV).

For my first 16 years, I lived in Louisiana where preparing for a hurricane meant boarding up windows, stockpiling fresh water and non-perishable goods, checking the first-aid kit and having other necessities on hand. Residents were urged to have an evacuation route before the storm hit.

After moving to Oklahoma, it became necessary to prepare for another type of storm—a tornado. With a tornado, the window of opportunity to prepare is not as wide as it is with a hurricane. Therefore, a different plan of action is required. While an emergency kit and a family communications plan are encouraged, one must be constantly alert to changing weather conditions. Tornadoes can spawn rapidly so advance warning is crucial.

While it’s important to be prepared and to know what to do in case of an emergency, unexpected catastrophic events can occur without warning. We think our lives are running smoothly when an unpredictable storm leaves a path of destruction and suffering behind.  Life’s storms can come in the form of a cancer diagnosis, job loss after years of being a faithful employee or unexpectedly losing a loved one in an automobile accident. Living with someone who has a drug or alcohol addiction, the death of an elderly parent, having a child diagnosed with an incurable disease or experiencing the death of a spouse can shake up our world, leaving us grasping for hope.

We have a checklist to prepare for natural disasters. But what about a life storm? Are you spiritually prepared to weather the storms that come your way? Being spiritually grounded means we can face calamity with a peace passing rational understanding. Even in the midst of pain and suffering, having the right resources to guide us through the storm will result in calm.

How do we spiritually prepare? By spending time in conversation with God each day, listening for His voice, we will naturally turn to Him in prayer in the midst of any emergency. Prayer brings comfort and peace, sustaining us when we need it the most.

Second, having knowledge of scripture helps bring solace in times of trouble and can be an important tool during times of darkness in our lives. My favorite is the 23rd Psalm. Another is Romans 8:38-39: “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Finally, to be spiritually prepared for the storms of life, we need to participate actively in a community of faith. By worshipping on a regular basis and investing in the church with our financial gifts, time and talents, we have a family of faith to support us in times of trouble.

When we are spiritually prepared, we can say confidently, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

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Do You Believe This?

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”—John 11:25-26 (NIV).

“It’s a big pat on the back for our understanding of the universe.” These words came last week from a physicist, commenting on the news from the European Space Agency’s discovery of the split-second that occurred after the Big Bang. Believing our universe burst in the blink of a second from subatomic size to its now visible expanse, the think tank was celebrating what they believe as evidence of how the world began.

“What a wonderful triumph of the mathematical approach to describing nature,” said another physicist, who was not a part of this new research. “It’s an amazing story of discovery.”

Another amazing story begins with these words: “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” The first words found in the Bible begin with a story I find easier to believe than a tiny subatomic particle exploding and creating the entire universe and everything in it. I readily admit that math has never been my strong point. I believe it takes more faith to believe in the Big Bang than it does in God.

According to a May 2011 Gallup poll, more than 9 in 10 Americans still say “yes” when asked the basic question “Do you believe in God?”

Christian author, Robert A. Laidlaw, said, “God exists whether or not men may choose to believe in Him. The reason why many people do not believe in God is not so much that it is intellectually impossible to believe in God, but because belief in God forces that thoughtful person to face the fact that he is accountable to such a God.”

As Laidlaw contemplated the perplexity of God, he said, “I have an innate conviction that God exists. No matter how my intellect had tried, in the past, to produce reasons proving He was not, or how much I had wanted to believe that there was no God, that ‘still, small voice’ came to me again and again, just as it comes to you, in the quiet of life’s more sober moments. Yes, I knew that at least for me there was a God.

“True, there are some men who don’t believe in God. But to me the problems of unbelief in God are greater than the problems of belief. To believe that unaided dead matter produced mind, that mind produced conscience, and that the chaos of chance produced the cosmos of order as we see it in nature, seems to call not for faith but for credulity.”

George Gallup, the American statistician, said, “I could prove God statistically. Take the human body alone—the chance that all its functions would just happen is a statistical monstrosity.”

Would you want to base your eternal future on a “statistical monstrosity?” Maybe that’s why David said in Psalm 14:1, “The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God.’”

Need a speaker for your event? Contact the author at carolaround@yahoo.com.

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Are You One of Them?

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering”—Romans 8:1-2 (NIV).

Hypocrites. Sinners. They warm the church pews each Sunday. They’re not perfect, just forgiven. I’m one of them. I’m not where I want to be, but by God’s grace, I’m not where I used to be.

According to the “World English Dictionary,” the word hypocrite has its origins from the Old French “ipocrite,” via Late Latin, from Greek “hupokrites,” or one who plays a part, a person who pretends to be what he is not. Yes, there are hypocrites in the church, people who play a role, who pretend to know Christ.

Before I came to know Jesus as my personal Savior, my identity was linked to the expectations of others. In the past, if someone had asked me, “Who are you?” I would have defined myself by my career. I might have also replied that I was someone’s daughter or the mother of two sons. My identity was wrapped up in the roles I played, the positions I held and the awards I received. I was in my late 40s before I found freedom to be who God created me to be in Him.

Since rededicating my life to the Lord, in 2001, I have strived to live a life of intention, a purposeful life of discovering who I am in Christ. To accomplish this, one must do as Jesus told Nicodemus in John 3:3: “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.”

Today, as in Jesus’ day, people still have a hard time grasping this eternal truth. We all have sinned and fall short of everything God intends us to be. None of us is perfect but “by one sacrifice He has made perfect forever those who are being made holy” (Hebrews 10:14).

We’re not there yet. However, in spite of our imperfections, we strive to be faithful.

Jesus was faithful to death. Remember Good Friday?  A gruesome death. A perfect sacrifice. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

When the Unknown Soldier was buried in Arlington, he was given the Congressional Medal of Honor and other decorations. However, when our Savior was laid to rest, he knew no pomp and ceremony. His only honor came from His Father who caused the earth to shake, the midday sun to become shrouded in darkness and who opened graves to let the dead walk.  A Roman centurion said, “Truly this man was the Son of God.”

However, it didn’t end with His death. Easter Sunday is coming. Have you accepted His perfect plan?

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Bringing a Stranger Home

“Don’t forget to do good and to share what you have with those in need, for such sacrifices are very pleasing to God.”  Hebrews 13:16(NLT)

She was born Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu in Skopje, Macedonia, on August 27, 1910. You know her as Mother Teresa. Of Albanian descent, Mother Teresa knew at the age of 12 that she was called by God. She took her initial vows as a nun in 1931. After teaching in Calcutta at St. Mary’s High School for 17 years, she received permission from her superiors to leave the convent school.

The poverty and suffering she witnessed outside the convent walls had made such a deep impression on her that she devoted the rest of her life to working among the poor in the slums of Calcutta. Her love for the Lord and helping his people grew into an order called “The Missionaries of Charity” in 1950. Their primary task? To love and care for those persons nobody was prepared to look after.

Although we may feel unequipped to live and work in the slums like Mother Teresa, God has called us to love and care for others in our own way and in our own families. Mother Teresa said it better: “Like Jesus we belong to the world living not for ourselves but for others. The joy of the Lord is our strength.”

Dubbed the “Saint of the Gutters,” Mother Teresa ministered to all whose path she crossed. Even in the gutters of Calcutta, she brought kindness and hope to dying people living in destitution scarcely imaginable to the western mind. In America, many are oblivious to the poverty in our own backyard—and it’s not just from a lack of basic necessities.

As Mother Teresa said, “There is a terrible hunger for love. We all experience that in our lives—the pain, the loneliness. We must have the courage to recognize it. The poor you may have right in your own family. Find them. Love them.”

A friend and I were recently discussing our backgrounds over lunch. She is a small-town minister’s daughter. Recalling her childhood, she told me that she never knew how many strangers would end up at their dinner table—especially on holidays.

Even with five children seated around the table, my friend’s father did not hesitate to bring home another hungry person. Like Mother Teresa, he was in the “people business.” Being in the “people business” is the only way to a heart of joy. When we serve others, we are serving our Lord.

Although Mother Teresa saw her efforts to help the poor as just a drop in the ocean, we can all be a part of that ocean. We don’t have to travel to the streets of Calcutta to make a difference. Like Mother Teresa, we can reach out to others in kindness and in love. In the slums of many people’s hearts, people are crying out.

Do you hear their cries? Reach out. Bring a stranger home to Jesus.

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Have You Accepted Deliverance?

“He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus,who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel”—2 Timothy 1: 9-10 (NIV).

Listening as a church member shared her story of loss, I was filled with compassion and a hope that comes from knowing Jesus. Mary, who gave birth to two children, has lost both of them.  Her daughter and her son were born premature. Her daughter, however, only survived eight weeks. Her son was 32-years-old when undetected heart problems claimed his life.

While many parents, including myself, can only imagine the pain of losing a child, Mary has experienced the loss of two, her only children. Although a day doesn’t pass without her recalling the wonderful times she shared with her son, she is using his death to reach out to others who have also lost a child.

Mary misses her children, but she knows the purpose to which God has called her. To share her story and help bring healing to others, including her only grandson, who will never know his father, Mary’s mission in life was born out of tragedy. Mary, however, also sees it as an opportunity to share Christ with others. She shares how her adult son received Christ as well as new joy and purpose in life. She shares photos of her grandson and talks about his mother, who has done a wonderful job of raising him, she adds.

Another Mary lost a child, a grown son, a man who came to deliver us from sin. His Holy birth, His simple life, His ministry, His Crucifixion, were all part of God’s plan. In 2 Corinthians 5:21, Paul says, “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

On Palm Sunday, as Jesus fulfilled the prophecy revealed in Zechariah 9:9, He came riding into Jerusalem on a donkey. “See, your king comes to you,righteous and victorious, lowly and riding on a donkey,on a colt, the foal of a donkey.”

Jesus didn’t ride into town on a mighty steed. Instead, the Savior of the world arrived on a lowly donkey, an unbroken colt. Riding a donkey into Jerusalem during the Passover period might have appeared insignificant to those who were waving palm branches that day.

I like this John 12:13 translation, found in the “Complete Jewish Bible.” “They took palm branches and went out to meet him, shouting, ‘Deliver us! Blessed is he who comes in the name of Adonai, the King of Isra’el!’”

“Deliver us?” They were looking for a King, a flesh and blood man to sit on the throne of Israel. Instead, God sent our Redeemer so that we might be delivered from sin.

Have you accepted His deliverance?

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